The fact that we can function, at great cost to ourselves, is used to beat up the people who cannot function.īecause unlike the people who cannot front, or who fronted too hard and fell off the cliff, we are able to “keep it together,” whatever it takes.But now I know what to do when it happens. We become the poster children for “productive” mentally ill people, because we are so organized and together. It’s the thing that allows you to have a burst of tears in the shower or behind the front seat of your car and then coolly collect yourself and stroll into a social engagement… Fronting is what allows you to hold down a job and maintain relationships with people, it’s the thing that sometimes keeps you from falling apart. It’s really important to me to not appear crazy, to fit in, to seem normal, to do the things “normal people” do, to blend in.Īs a defense mechanism, fronting makes a lot of sense, and you hone that mechanism after years of being crazy. ![]() “Like a lot of people with mental illness, I spend a lot of time fronting. But the sun may well come out tomorrow, and when it does I shall take full advantage.” "Hey-ho, it's raining inside it isn't my fault and there's nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. It's all about finding a kind of mental umbrella. In the same way that one really has to accept the weather, one has to accept how one feels about life sometimes, "Today is a really crap day," is a perfectly realistic approach. Depression, anxiety, listlessness - these are all are real as the weather - AND EQUALLY NOT UNDER ONE'S CONTROL. The wrong approach is to believe that they are illusions. It really is the same with one's moods, I think. It isn't under one's control when the sun comes out, but come out it will. ![]() It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row. If it's dark and rainy, it really is dark and rainy, and you can't alter it. Here are some obvious things about the weather: “I’ve found that it’s of some help to think of one’s moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather. This kind of advice feeds guilt and shame, inhibits grieving, encourages grandiosity and can drive you to be alone to shield your vulnerability.” When you most need validation and support to get through the worst pain of your life, to be confronted with the well-meaning, but quasi-religious fervor of these insidious half-truths can be deeply demoralizing. I was often kindly reminded (and believed it myself), “there are no victims.” How can you be a victim when you are responsible for your circumstances? The upshot of this perspective is that your suffering would vanish if only you adopted a more evolved perspective and stopped feeling aggrieved. You also chose how you interpret what happened-as if there are no interpersonal facts, only interpretations. Not only have you chosen the event, no matter how horrible, for your personal growth. In New Age crowds here on the West Coast, where your attitude is considered the sole determinant of the impact an event has on you, it gets even worse.In these New Thought circles, no matter what happens to you, it is assumed that you have created your own reality. We live in a culture that is blind to betrayal and intolerant of emotional pain.
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